WHY IS
SAYING “NO” THAT DIFFICULT?
“Live your life for you not for anyone else. Don’t let the
fear of being judged, rejected or disliked stop you from being yourself.”
When someone asks me for doing something I sometimes find
myself thinking “no, no, no, no,” and then I blurt out “yes”. Why is it so
difficult to say the word “no”? It’s just a word, right? I asked myself why it
was so important for me to please everyone, to the point that I would feel
resentful and stressed because of it. I realized I was afraid of disappointing
someone, making them angry or appear unkind or rude. Later, I thought that this
is not just a challenge that I face, but one that many people go through every
day.
Saying “no” doesn’t mean that you are being rude, selfish,
or unkind. These are all unhelpful beliefs that make it hard to say “no”. Learning
where these beliefs have come from is a great way to learn to let go of them.
Well, as children, we learned that saying “no” was impolite or inappropriate.
If you said “no” to your mom, dad, teacher, grandparents and so on, you were
most certainly considered to be being rude, and you would have probably been
told off for it saying “no” was off-limits, and “yes” was the polite and
likable thing to say. Now that we are more mature and capable of making our own
choices. So “no” shouldn’t be an off-limits word, but rather something that we
decide on ourselves, based on our own tact.
The next step to learning to say “no” is realizing that you
are valuable and choosing your own opinion about yourself over others. The
another step to learning to say “no” is deciding if saying “yes” is really
worth it. After committing to something, doubt eventually sets in and you may
begin to think of ways you can get out of it. And if you don’t have any good
excess, you then have to decide if you are going to tell the truth or come up
with a lie. You shouldn’t go for telling lie. Wouldn’t it be so much easier and
straight forward to just say “no” in the first place?
So, it really isn’t worth it to say “yes” when you don’t
want to. I have a right to say “no” and shouldn’t be afraid of letting other
people down at the cost of my own happiness.
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